Lets start with a bang.

Part One

I am knelt on a welcome mat in the middle of the room, it’s 16:45, I have been here for 15 minutes already, the mat is course and rough on my knees and feet, which are both bare, as is the rest of my body, a rule I had suggested back when this relationship began slightly more than a few years ago now, a rule that my Mistress definitely agreed with.
When my Mistress messages or calls me to tell me when she will be home, my task is the kneel on this mat and wait for her arrival, an hour in advance, sometimes it can be 45 or even 30 minutes, the purpose is to get me into a more relaxed subservient state, if that was even possible… The mat I am knelt on isn’t the mat used for boots on the porch, it’s a clean one and is only used for this purpose, it doesn’t hurt to kneel on, but it’s rough enough that you can’t get too comfortable on it. I actually enjoy it, though, not because I’m a masochist, I will get to that stuff later, but because I know that Mistress will be here soon.
Being on this mat gives me a lot of time to think, sometimes I seem to go blank and even seem to fall asleep until I hear the car, or the key slot into the lock, but oftentimes I think, about a great many things, usually how I got here, and how lucky I am to be in this relationship, or even what submissiveness means on a more mental level.
There are many feelings that are difficult to describe to people who haven’t felt them yet, and even to people who have felt them because you might feel them differently. One analogy I like to use is sneezing, ask someone to explain the feeling that washes over their face and body before, during and after a sneeze and the people who had never thought about it would say something like, “well it’s a sneeze isn’t it?” When you sneeze your whole body feels something unquantifiable, at least for most people.
Love is a similar feeling, it can wash over your entire body in an instant, from just hearing their voice, or hearing their voice say your name in a specific way, or a subtle smile on their face promising you that you will enjoy the next thing they will say or do.
Submission is a third feeling, really hard to explain to people who aren’t submissive, it’s like a driving force in our brains that when we obey it ignites a glow of happiness and joy at doing what we are told, and again washes over our bodies when it occurs.
Then we come onto pain. Pain, just like any other feeling depends on many factors, the source of the pain, the emotion behind it, your mood, and whether it is complimented by any other sensation, all these things affect the pain, and how your body and brain process it. I am a masochist, I enjoy pain, or rather, I enjoy pain when it’s delivered in a pleasurable way or by someone without ill intent. I’ll explain all of these in much greater details later. But like the three noted before, can wash over you like euphoria.
17:04
You are probably reading this thinking this is the strangest opening post to a blog you have ever read, reading me go into the depths of the meanings behind things, and while my book will have similar things mixed into my story, I want people to get a feel for my writing and my mind. And the worship I am doing while writing this? I am not actually doing it right now, it’s more a smattering of various afternoons merged into one work for you, hopefully you will enjoy the ride as I kneel here waiting.
17:26
I hear a car on the street, I recognised the engine sound on a quiet day, but today was a warm day and Mistress had the window open, her music was distinctive as the car pulled into the drive, I straightened, my body hot with excitement, anticipation, and a need to serve.
A car door slams outside, shoes heard clapping on the path, and the aforementioned keys rattling and entering the slot, I swear that is one of the most exciting sounds in my life, my breath stops for a moment, as my world seems to slow down and my mind goes into overdrive, did I put away all the laundry? I knew I had, but these things come into my mind for a few seconds, as the door opens, and I see her, my Mistress, and every thought I had prior goes out the window as I enter serving mode, I analyse everything and ensure I am ready to obey any instructions given to me, and importantly, I smile. It was something she trained me to do as when we met I hadn’t smiled in almost two years, but now I almost can’t help it, even after 5 years together, I can’t help but smile when I see her.
Mistress drops her keys in the basket on the shelf next to the door, removed her jacket and she looked at me, this usually brought a smile out of her, no matter how bad her day had been, this day was no exception, she looked around also, she count tell I had cleaned, for the third time this week, the room smelled amazing, I was proud of it, and the work I had put into it. She walked passed me without giving me an instruction so I stayed still, she hung up her jacket in the stairwell, she crept up behind me, not something she can usually do successfully, my hearing is good, and she is a powerful woman, she played rugby a lot in secondary school and after, so she has a bit of weight in her steps, not very quiet footsteps, but I didn’t let on, I let her have her fun, I didn’t move a single muscle, I wasn’t even trembling, when she leaned down beside my ear, “bracelets”, was all she said, and my hands instantly went behind my back, ready to be cuffed or tied, tonight it was rope. Using knots she almost certainly learned from me, and I could tell she was smirking, thinking about what fantastic evening we will have tonight.

End of Part One